Thursday, July 15, 2010
In 15 minutes it will have been a month since I last posted anything....just a little fact. Its late, and I am usually sleeping by now but for some reason something in me was compelled to write. I was lying awake thinking about love and how little of it people think I have seen. I'm 18 and have yet to even have anything close to a boyfriend! I'm perfectly ok with this, at times I dream of Prince Charming finding me and sweeping me off my feet, don't all us girls. And sometimes its hard to wait for him, and then realizing he's not coming. I know that love is out there for me somewhere and that God has set aside someone just for me, and I for them, but waiting isnt always an easy thing to do. I have my dreams. And those dreams keep my heart content for a time. I find myself rushing to want a family and find the someone I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, my best friend. I am a girl way ahead of her age group and for this I dont "enjoy" the things life has to offer me right at this moment. I've never been normal, always standing out but staying invisible at the same time. High school for me wasnt really high school but rather an early start on my college career. I took a servey one time that was supposed to measure your "true" age, the age you act rather than the age you are. I was about 15 at the time and scored the age of 31! My mother took the test and scored the age of 18, my sister and her friend took it and scored their own ages. As far as I could tell the servey was pretty accurate, even for my mother. Of course what the test told me was no surprise to any of my family or friends, but it still offered quite a few laughs including some for myself. I've never felt that I miss out on what life has to offer becuase I'm content in who I am and I'm ok not being like every other teenager, wheres the fun in that ;). Lifes hard enough without worrying about being someone youre not, the classic line but its true. Love will find us all when we least expect it. It nips ya right in the butt when you're not watching for it. I've found love in my friends, and my family and for now thats all I need. Why waste my time on a boy when I have myself to figure out, and the path I need to take on my own. Its actually pretty exciting to be independant and think about the things you want, the rest of your life will be spent doing things for others, being a parent, a spouse, focus on what goals you have for yourself, dont get caught up in a future that may be a long way off. Dont close the door on it but set it aside to enjoy the now and the opportunities waiting for you. Go for it, what do you have to loose?