Saturday, September 4, 2010
So today we have a wedding we're going to. I know both the bride and te groom, not well, but they dont know eachother that well either haha. Sorry, just a little joke. They have been together for less than 6 months and already they are pleadging their eternal love for one another in front of a crowd of judgmental friends and family. I'm sure we're all just thrilled for them and its better they get married than....well I dont really know! I'm sure they could have spent some more time together, whats the rush? But at any rate it promises to be a happy affair. I personally love weddings mostly because I fantasize of my own some day. And as my mother loves to point out, that day for me could be coming sooner than I think. Theres only one problem with that, I have never had a boyfriend. At the moment there is a certain someone whome I am interested in. His family and mine have been friends since I was but an infant. We are two peas in a pod. The only problem is that they live in LA, which is not ideal for me in any matter of speaking. Its better than Russia but we still only see eachother once a year. I have had feelings for him for about a year now and I was sure he felt the same way...atleast he did last year. But now I'm not so sure. Its hard to tell when you're never with someone. But I'm keeping my spirits high, and beleive me thats not an easy task. The one odd thing is that my sister has had several boyfriends and kissed 2 guys. I havent even gotten as far as holding a guys hand! I went to coffee with a guy once but that was a disaster becuase he was way to serious and I wasnt interested. I feel bad for the guy though, he could barley talk to me he was so nervous all the time. And personally I cant stand it when a guy is that way. I need a man! Not some whimp who cant even carry on a converstaion with me. I understand that I can be intimidating at times but I aint changin that. Sorry. Anyways I'm not sure if I should tell this someone how I feel or just wait it out. We still have out seperate ways to go, and living so far apart makes it hard to have a relationship so thats one thing that keeps me from saying anything. If everything was out in the open I think it would just make it harder to live so far apart. But it eats me alive not to know how he feels! And hes not like regular guys so I dont know what signs to look for. So for now I am a girl waiting for love to come and rescue me. Who knows if that will ever happen, but I like to think that some things in fairytales can happen in real life....I guess eventually I'll find out.