Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Life Changes

A lot of changes have been happening of late, both good and bad ones. This Christmas was very good, brother came home for a few days! One down side of this time is that my best friend will be leaving for college in Texas very soon. I am so excited for her to have this new adventure in her life but I know I will be very lonely without her. When she isn't around I find myself drifting into isolation so we need to make sure that doesn't happen!
Starting on new years eve many eventful things have occurred. I spent the entire week with my best friend, and I mean every waking and sleeping moment! We had a blast and now we are taking a small break from each other. But it was necessary since shes leaving very soon. On New Years Eve we, and other friends, hung out at Red Robin and proceeded to hang out at another friends house. Over this week our group of friends went shooting, movie watching, church going, and just generally chilling together. It was so much fun! A friend of ours that lives in another state came for a visit. He had lived up here for the summer but I never really got to know him at all. This time around we hung out quite a bit and got to know each other a little better. He's a super nice guy and its a bummer he couldn't stay for longer. Needless to say I am hoping to get to know him better. One down side is that there is a girl back where he lives that he's been interested in for a while now (so I hear). I'm not sure if I should just let it be or try to pursue him. A part of me wants to do both, so I am torn. I feel like I always give up on guys, I usually don't even show who I am! But with him I am super comfortable and I can be myself! Thats been hard to find in a guy, at least for me. I feel like theres a spark between us but I'm not sure if thats just on my side of things. And for some reason I always find nice guys who live in another state! What the heck is wrong with me!? It's like I just chuck myself right into heart ache. So until I find out what to do about that I guess I will just play this whole thing by ear and see what comes of it. I wont quit, but I wont jump right in either. I'll wade these waters and see how clean, deep, and chlorinated they are (hahaha). One thing I know is that I can't give all of me to something that isn't certain, but then again we can never be certain in these situations. Eventually some risks must be taken, but the question is weather or not I'll be willing to take those risks. If not, then it wasn't meant to be.